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BIG NEWS FOR THE WEEK
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Big New Suecool boy is going to get another tattoo this one is going to be a bulldogg It will look real good on them big arms I think them arms hold up a good 300 pounds now."thats just great"wow There is a new chick in Rural Ridge she is prety HOT I think I did not see her face yet
GOOD PHONE TIPS
1. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say,
"I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my
chronic disease problem thing is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they
try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
2. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't
believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror
as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
3. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use
some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other
money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
4. If you get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they
try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone
down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits
for you to get your credit card.
5. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say,
"I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my
chronic disease problem thing is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they
try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
6. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him
to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or
questions about the company for as long as necessary.
7. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Julie!! Is this really you? I can't
believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror
as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
8. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as
they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
9. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN
blood - chicken blood too?"
10. Let the person go through their thing, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an
occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to
marry you or come over for dinner. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your
credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill
from Widget & Associates." You: "Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you
calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's
business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see
ya."
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them
back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number
and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of
Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah!
Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
Here are some way to get rid of a telemarketer that some nice visitors to Lena's Mega Mall sent to
me...
If it is in the evening, you say "um, is this a courtesy call?" they reply yes, you say "oh I'm sorry, I
belong to the "Haters Of Courtesy Calls When We're Having Dinner With our Family Church"
Or, for car insurance companies you reply, "I don't have a car"
Or, for newspapers that you don't havebecause you like the other one, especially when the "person
that makes the decisions in the household" isn't around, you say in a cute little six year old girl's voice
"my daddy said that that newspaper was really bad and we didn't want to throw away our money on
that junk. I didn't understand what he meant, though, when he said we we're throwing away our
money"
Or, if they ask to speak to the "person that makes the decisions in the household", you say, he's in
jail.
Then, they just hang up, it's really funny.
1. When thay ask for a Mrs/Mr ______ just get all emotional sounding and say.... They...They just
died....Wait to hear their apologies! It's great!
2. When they call just be like, What? Hello!!! ARE YOU STILL THERE? I CANNOT HEAR
YOU. CAN YOU HEAR ME? yelling as loud as you can into the phone.
3. If they ask if a Mrs/and or Mr is there just say yes and then sit there and wait for them to say
something like, well can I speak to them? Then be like probably. Then sit there some more. Just
make it up as you go along.
STUFF FOR SALES: SEWCOOL BOYS CAR 427 UNDER THE HOOD-$7,000
TRACY HOUSE-I THINK $260,000
QUOTE FOR THE WEEEK "(Some times Life is SWOOL")
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